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the Movie
Club Annals ...
Killer
Fish
Reviewed by Carl R.
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Killer Fish |
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You know, like iths never nithe to sthpeak
ill of the deadth, but it really theemed like Margaux Hemingway
had a sthpeech impedthiment in thith moveeth. Oh well,
leth's not thpeak of it again.
Killer Fish
- 1979 - Thtarring:
James Franfishcus Eel
Majors Margaux Hemingray
Karen Blackfish Gary
Codlins
Marfisha Berenson
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It
all sthtarted at the sthecret power plant, where a bunch of
theevthes broke in to thteal the jewelths. Justht gothes to
proovthe that you learn thumthing new every dayths, becauth it
wathn't until now that I realithed that all power planths keep
jewelths on the properteeth. |
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| Anyway, the
movie appearths to take plathe in the thuthern porthun of
Argenparmisthan, but ith hard to tell, with all the differing
thpecies of thflora and thflauna and thuch. |
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Fithshing,
STHPHEAR fithshing ...
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| Next, James Franfishcus takeths it upon himthelf to hide all the
jewelths under a sthchool of trained piranhaths stho none of the
theeves can thteal them from each otherths. Thisth workths out
pretty well for the firstht five minutesth, but then the
brotherths theeves dethide to stheal the jewelths from all the
other theeveths, stho they get eaten by the thrained pirnahaths. |
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| Thith
inthident really getths Eel Majors thinking, and then he can't
thstop thinking for the retht of the moveeth. It hurthsts
to watchtht. But wait, it geths wortht ... |
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It
wuth relly hard to get picthures of thith moveeth ... |
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| Margaux Hemingray
and Karen Blackfish thtart a catfishfight over who getsth to sthleep
with Eel Majors. But, thince Eel ith thuch a prolifthic thinker,
he thettles it by thleeping with them both - a regular King
Tholomon. But thith really fishes off Marfisha Berenson, who
makeths herthelf feel bedderth by cothying up to Gary Codlins. |
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Deep Thought
... |
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| But the real
villain ith James Franfishcus, who plotsht and sthchemes through
the whole moveeth. He wanths all the jewelths for
himthelfs. But alath, it ith not to be. |
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| All the
major playerths end up in a sthmall boat that thurvithes a major
dam-break. James Franfishcus tryths to ethcape with all
the jewelths in a row boat, but Eel majors sthwimths out to the
boat and foilths the plan by pulling the plug out while being
bitten by piranhaths. James Franfishcus, of corth,
shthinks along with the boat, and duthn't thurvive the
thubthequent brutal attack of the paranhaths. |
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| In the end, Karen Blackfish
gothes crathey and endths up in a tropical athylum. Eel Majors and Margaux Hemingray
endths up with all the jewelths, asth Margaux Hemingray
triumpthantly drivthes their limothene off into the thunthet. |
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Eel Thermino.
Editorths Note: It
wuth pothible that Gary Codlins and Marfisha Berenson got a cut
of the jewelths too, but the ending wuth kind of confuthing,
stho we can't tell for sthure. |
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